Sighs!! have to do something about myself

i don't know what they are doing tell me off to move on that i can't just move on that fast but i can move on but it take awhile to move on i need to have somebody to talk about like have friend to be there not just yelling at me and blaming me for what i did only being there to listen and understand not just yell at me to move on fast that i would not just move on fast only slowly as i can to move on only i do get the blame by myself they don't understand what i have been through trying to get my life back i never had a life for while cuz of this stupid man waste my time pending over him and go to see him when i can't go then later break up with me and break my heart and i will never have love again from him only i have to is just move on to other guy but it is hard right now feeling that they are blaming me for that i just hate it what i am feeling about
i have been crying all night that i am taking the truth from them and i have hard time take the truth that i ruined all the chance i will never have-love from this stupid man only i have to is just move on and find other one that can treat me BETTER than this stupid guy and i guess he is not the one to have oh well
since i got some therapy yesterday and it is the beginning of it and i am getting weekly therapy for while to deal with my emotional and heal myself it takes time to do it can't do that TOO fast i am having hard time getting rid of my depression that i am having for 2 months it was the longest that i have been experiencing i had it before but it was only short time and i was be able to move on easier but not this time because of problems now it is getting harder now to get rid of depression it take time to heal and get some relief from the depression it will take few weeks to get better from it
i hope it will be much easier as it was before with the therapy and etc...