sometimes i feel depressed and don't know what to do when my family ignored me and etc... i can't wait to move out so i don't have to deal with them ever. Once i move out i won't need to be with my family no matter what. i felt that they always drag me to family gatherings when i don't feel like wanted to go.
when i don't wanted to go that is my choice whatever i wanted only i not wanted to be there. i always feel left out when i am with my family whenever they talks it is hard for me to see what they are talking about. That is big problem for me to try to communicate with them with them ignoring me which i really hate.
when i am with them i don't need to be with them anyway but i can hang out with my nephew that all because he likes to be with me anyway.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
New Researches
I always start new research on hauntings. I always add in my researches and etc... I always find interested haunting spots
right now I am interest to do research on white witch of Fremont, CA and it legends.
it really interesting legends.
I like ghost legends even thou it is Haunting Legends anyway.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
lonely
i feel so depressed this morning that i start to cry i don't know why i was crying i feel SO lonely all suddenly i guess i am lonely for my male friend that i had dream about i miss him so much i am wondering if he has think of me lately as i have i have not seen him for almost 4 years. I wanted to see him again, i know that we are very good friends. We do talk to each other once while. I am thinking of maybe see him again but i am not sure of when. But i will maybe talk to him about see each other someday like maybe meeting him in Chicago which is half way from his home and my home. Do something together while we are together in Chicago.
I wanted to shared my life with someone else and i wanted to love someone else. I never had long term relationship, i did nothing wrong. I am wonder why guys can't stay with me for long time. Maybe they look at me like i am ugly and feel embarrassed by being seen with me that make me feel maybe i am not beautiful. I am feeling so lonely that i felt i am not important person to guys my ex just blew me off last year deciding that we can't have relationship anymore that really hurt me so much that make me cry more often as i did try to kill myself 3 times that i am not worth to live that suicidal thoughts i have that lead me to therapy and i have been going to therapy once every week for a year now.
Now i am diagnosed as having fear of things around me as my mother used to hoving me and limiting me from what i wanted to do and control my life she used to not let me go with my local friends. She had been holding me down not let me go as i am trying to get away. But now Mother is letting me go as she sees me trying to be on my own as i wanted to be on my own. That make me feel good about myself that i can be on my own. I can whatever i wanted and mother is limiting herself from hoving me, and back off from controlling my life, that make me feel less fear but i still feeling depressed of course i talk to my therapist how i feel when i am feeling depressed. I don't have suicial thoughts anymore as i know that my life is important to me that i can lead MY life alone. I can't wait to do.
I wanted to shared my life with someone else and i wanted to love someone else. I never had long term relationship, i did nothing wrong. I am wonder why guys can't stay with me for long time. Maybe they look at me like i am ugly and feel embarrassed by being seen with me that make me feel maybe i am not beautiful. I am feeling so lonely that i felt i am not important person to guys my ex just blew me off last year deciding that we can't have relationship anymore that really hurt me so much that make me cry more often as i did try to kill myself 3 times that i am not worth to live that suicidal thoughts i have that lead me to therapy and i have been going to therapy once every week for a year now.
Now i am diagnosed as having fear of things around me as my mother used to hoving me and limiting me from what i wanted to do and control my life she used to not let me go with my local friends. She had been holding me down not let me go as i am trying to get away. But now Mother is letting me go as she sees me trying to be on my own as i wanted to be on my own. That make me feel good about myself that i can be on my own. I can whatever i wanted and mother is limiting herself from hoving me, and back off from controlling my life, that make me feel less fear but i still feeling depressed of course i talk to my therapist how i feel when i am feeling depressed. I don't have suicial thoughts anymore as i know that my life is important to me that i can lead MY life alone. I can't wait to do.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
got new sidekick LX
my sidekick 2 broke that why i got new sidekick LX today because my Sidekick 2 didn't work anymore so nothing i can do that i need pager for emergency if something have happened it is better than do nothing so my new one is better than sidekick 2 and more memory and long battery and etc... so i decide to get new one anyway and i can get new pager later on if nessaary i am glad that i got new one that will make me feel better rather worry what will i do.
now it is all over for me to get new one whew then i don't have to worry about getting new one later now that i got new one now whoo woo.
i am playing with it now heh it is awesome pager i ever own
now it is all over for me to get new one whew then i don't have to worry about getting new one later now that i got new one now whoo woo.
i am playing with it now heh it is awesome pager i ever own
Sunday, July 20, 2008
got back from camping vacation
back from Camp Sandusky
i am now at home got home earlier than i thought i would be i had much fun with my friends they are my true bluesy friends
i am glad that they are my friends i had fun with them like hanging with them. When i arrived to bus station in Toledo and they said the bus were full and i was little upset but my mother told me that she will be happy to take me to there but we don't know where to go as a girl hear us said it, she told us that she know where the bus station in Sandusky and was happy to join us to there. As we arrived i emailed my friends that i arrived and wait until they arrived, Mother got the chance to meet them and were happy to get to know them. We left for Huron Beach as i called the place, for our friend daughter's graduation party and it was fun. Then we arrive at the camp and all of us set my tent and it turn out great and my tent is big and very comfortable, i am glad that i brought it as it is very worth to have. I blew up my mattress and set the bed up to be ready as i go to sleep.We did shop at Walmart, i brought few stuff and i did got some clothes that i might need on this trip. We hang out until we went to bed and it was good sleep.
Thurs, we went to Put-in-Bay, it was very nice day and the island is beautiful all of us rode on the 2 seperate carts and drove around. We did shop a little. We went back to camp and did had cookout and the food is good, steaks and baked potatoes cooked on the grill, ohh it was so good yum, We did hang out more at the camp of course we did enjoyed hanging out at the camp not a problem i do like doing that as that way i can relax. I really enjoying relaxing.
Friday, Cedar Point Day!!
we went to Cedar Point and we did rode on the rides. Rode on Demon Drop, Rapitor, Maverick, Millennum Force, Power Tower, Twister, and Maxair. My favorite rides are Maxair, Millennum Force and Maverick. I didn't ride on water rides but some of us did ride on water rides. I won a stuffed white pup, LOL. It was good day We did went out to eat dinner.
Sat, Camp day we spend all day at camp, we did plan to hang out at the camp not a problem and that way i can rest as i did rest that i was not feeling well ugh being little sick almost ruined my day at the camp mostly i blamed on my swollen legs it seems like every July i get swollen legs ugh, all of us did swam but not me because i was not feeling well. We had hamburgers with 2 kinds of cheeses but i did had swiss cheese YUM YUM!. I love hamburgers Hmm. Of course all of us were sad on the last day.
Sunday, Last Day,
we took tent down and cleared the camp out, of course i help clean out, 2 friends left and one friend took me to drop me off
and it turn out there were a early bus and they had a available seat for me so i decide to exchanged my 2:15pm ticket for 9am bus not so bad. I arrived at the bus station and waited for mom ugh it was long time. As i arrive home i looked at my watch it was 2:15 that time i was supposed to leave sandusky ha. it is early heh. It was fun that i wanted to have other camping trip with friends.
we have other camping together in Tennessee in 2010 or maybe in Toronto Canada but i am not sure but i will wait and see how things go with the plans but i don't remember where in Tennessee that we are planning to have camping trip. i can't wait to go to Tennessee with them that will be blast time i can't wait for 2010 to come heh. i hope that 2010 will be big for me like be a driver and have car that i can drive to Tennessee Camp without any problem and be on my own away from parents.
i am now at home got home earlier than i thought i would be i had much fun with my friends they are my true bluesy friends
i am glad that they are my friends i had fun with them like hanging with them. When i arrived to bus station in Toledo and they said the bus were full and i was little upset but my mother told me that she will be happy to take me to there but we don't know where to go as a girl hear us said it, she told us that she know where the bus station in Sandusky and was happy to join us to there. As we arrived i emailed my friends that i arrived and wait until they arrived, Mother got the chance to meet them and were happy to get to know them. We left for Huron Beach as i called the place, for our friend daughter's graduation party and it was fun. Then we arrive at the camp and all of us set my tent and it turn out great and my tent is big and very comfortable, i am glad that i brought it as it is very worth to have. I blew up my mattress and set the bed up to be ready as i go to sleep.We did shop at Walmart, i brought few stuff and i did got some clothes that i might need on this trip. We hang out until we went to bed and it was good sleep.
Thurs, we went to Put-in-Bay, it was very nice day and the island is beautiful all of us rode on the 2 seperate carts and drove around. We did shop a little. We went back to camp and did had cookout and the food is good, steaks and baked potatoes cooked on the grill, ohh it was so good yum, We did hang out more at the camp of course we did enjoyed hanging out at the camp not a problem i do like doing that as that way i can relax. I really enjoying relaxing.
Friday, Cedar Point Day!!
we went to Cedar Point and we did rode on the rides. Rode on Demon Drop, Rapitor, Maverick, Millennum Force, Power Tower, Twister, and Maxair. My favorite rides are Maxair, Millennum Force and Maverick. I didn't ride on water rides but some of us did ride on water rides. I won a stuffed white pup, LOL. It was good day We did went out to eat dinner.
Sat, Camp day we spend all day at camp, we did plan to hang out at the camp not a problem and that way i can rest as i did rest that i was not feeling well ugh being little sick almost ruined my day at the camp mostly i blamed on my swollen legs it seems like every July i get swollen legs ugh, all of us did swam but not me because i was not feeling well. We had hamburgers with 2 kinds of cheeses but i did had swiss cheese YUM YUM!. I love hamburgers Hmm. Of course all of us were sad on the last day.
Sunday, Last Day,
we took tent down and cleared the camp out, of course i help clean out, 2 friends left and one friend took me to drop me off
and it turn out there were a early bus and they had a available seat for me so i decide to exchanged my 2:15pm ticket for 9am bus not so bad. I arrived at the bus station and waited for mom ugh it was long time. As i arrive home i looked at my watch it was 2:15 that time i was supposed to leave sandusky ha. it is early heh. It was fun that i wanted to have other camping trip with friends.
we have other camping together in Tennessee in 2010 or maybe in Toronto Canada but i am not sure but i will wait and see how things go with the plans but i don't remember where in Tennessee that we are planning to have camping trip. i can't wait to go to Tennessee with them that will be blast time i can't wait for 2010 to come heh. i hope that 2010 will be big for me like be a driver and have car that i can drive to Tennessee Camp without any problem and be on my own away from parents.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
On Vacation
i am going to be on vacation tomorrow for my camping trip i can't wait to go i leave for toledo about noon for my 2:45 bus to Sandusky when i arrive i am sure that i will go to the camp to set my tent up then go to the beach for my friend's daughter's graduation party but it look like storm tomorrow to happen but i am not sure have to wait and see. i hope it don't rain on us it will be very nice if we don't get wet from the raining, i hate raining scoffs.
if i go to Northern Minnesota later on then it will be very nice to have fun there heh.
i love Northern Minnesota so quiet and peaceful and love to look out on the lake and even fishing there. I can be able to do cross stitch my projects and finish my summer reading.
i love to read on my vacation,
if i go to Northern Minnesota later on then it will be very nice to have fun there heh.
i love Northern Minnesota so quiet and peaceful and love to look out on the lake and even fishing there. I can be able to do cross stitch my projects and finish my summer reading.
i love to read on my vacation,
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Favorite Haunting Spots
Cemeteries are my favorite spots for hauntings. Abandoned places are also my favorite hauntings spots
houses are mostly abandoned places as they are haunted.
I have been researching abandoned places and have some haunted abandoned places in some states.
Ohio is my favorite state for abandoned places of course other states do have some abandoned places like California for example ghost towns are also a abandoned places but not really my favorite but I do like ghost towns and it histories because it is part of early america history. I am still researching abandoned places in all the states as I make the list and pick some abandoned places as my favorites. Also put on some states on the list as my favorite abandoned places.
Friday, July 11, 2008
had fun on 7/10/08
i had fun last thursday 7/10/08
my nephew and i went to the Fair and rode on rides and ate some foods there. the food were good and the rides were good but not fast as Cedar Point but had fun with him anyway. i really enjoy being with my nephew, he is sweet young guy.
we do have some favorite rides. my sister, my brother in law, my mom and my niece did joined me and my nephew but they did had fun too.
i love fairs with rides and games too even some foods of course
my nephew and i went to the Fair and rode on rides and ate some foods there. the food were good and the rides were good but not fast as Cedar Point but had fun with him anyway. i really enjoy being with my nephew, he is sweet young guy.
we do have some favorite rides. my sister, my brother in law, my mom and my niece did joined me and my nephew but they did had fun too.
i love fairs with rides and games too even some foods of course
Friday, July 4, 2008
beautiful 4th of July
happy 4th of July and it is beautiful day and sunny all day also this weekend i am glad that today is beautiful plan to take my dog out for long walk before i am due to go to to the party at my brother in law's parents house for the 4th of July party i don't wanted to stay there too long because of my dog and etc...hope that i don't have to stay long.
can't wait to eat yummy foods at the party heh
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Bad night
last night was bad night because of storms, it was one of the worse storms i have ever seen actually i have seen worse storms while growing up but this one i have not seen for so long and this year was bad year for storms. i lost power after storms hit hard and didn’t get it back until this morning sighs it was boring night for me but lucky i have my sidekick and i talked to my friend thank god she was on aim whew.. it was awful storm i just came home in time when it came it was close when i came home from town shopping. i tried to read my book in candle lit and flashlight it was soso sighs
but i am so glad that i got my power back today it was wonderful feeling to have electrity
but i am so glad that i got my power back today it was wonderful feeling to have electrity
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
first day of July
wow today is first day of July half of the year have pass around the corner will be august and Septmber even in few months christmas will be here then year 2009 will be here too. i have good half yea all to myself so far i am really enjoying being single. i don't have problem being single it is better safe to be single rather have relationship and get dumped by stupid guy. I am glad that i am not in relationship with stupid guy whew.
Tomorrow i will going to do my cross stitch shopping i love shopping for cross stitch stuffs i am glad that cross stitch is my favorite hobby. JoAnn is having sale on DMC threads that why i wanted to get more threads for my new future cross stitch projects. i like both JoAnn and Michael's, JoAnn is little cheaper than Michael's but it didn't matter to me anyway but i like JoAnn little better because they have more cross stitch stuff to get
i am planning to go back to Dunham's soon to recheck on things i am thinking of buying like new backpack, maybe new duffle bag who know maybe not i don't know and new swimming suit i am thinking of maybe look at tank tops. i like Dunham's when i first came in to check on tents and found some stuff i like and would wanted to buy. but of course i have few favorite stores Dunham's, JoAnn, Michael's and kohls even Walmart and Target.
Tomorrow i will going to do my cross stitch shopping i love shopping for cross stitch stuffs i am glad that cross stitch is my favorite hobby. JoAnn is having sale on DMC threads that why i wanted to get more threads for my new future cross stitch projects. i like both JoAnn and Michael's, JoAnn is little cheaper than Michael's but it didn't matter to me anyway but i like JoAnn little better because they have more cross stitch stuff to get
i am planning to go back to Dunham's soon to recheck on things i am thinking of buying like new backpack, maybe new duffle bag who know maybe not i don't know and new swimming suit i am thinking of maybe look at tank tops. i like Dunham's when i first came in to check on tents and found some stuff i like and would wanted to buy. but of course i have few favorite stores Dunham's, JoAnn, Michael's and kohls even Walmart and Target.
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