lost few of my friends

I am very depressed that i felt that i am losing friends i don't know what i did wrong that make them not be my friends i wish that they would tell me what wrong. i think one did quit facebook that why the person was not on my friend list.
i have met lot of people and i guess they don't look at me like a friend anymore, and they ignored me and i felt that they look at me like a weird stranger not wanted to be my friends also they have avoid to be my friends. That really hurt my feelings really badly. I simply don't understand what their problems are if they were not telling me. if they were then i will understand then i will not be their friend either.
only one thing i don't like to is bother them or make them feel pressures from me.
i guess that they sees me like i am not very nice person but i am nice person but problems is my shyness is taking me over.
i guess i better off to be alone without anyone in my life.

Exciting weekend

i really enjoyed my free weekend from mother and father as they went to mother’s 50th class reunion in other state.
I love a weekend like that, I hope that Mom and dad can do that again in the future.
i did watched my favorite movies and some the movies i haven’t seen from my VHS collections. while i am watching movies i plan to eat popcorn, pour over butter popcorn yum and also some mini mirowave cake it is good i did ate that before and it is good. maybe someday i will buy big bowl of the mircowave cake to see how it goes.
i did my 3 cross stitch projects that i am really anxious to finish so i can get the bear project started. i really enjoyed doing cross stitch when things are so quiet in the house, so i can be able to keep my contraction. I did join a cross stitch group that are doing a MSAL project i posted in my cross stitch blog about that.
i cooked homemade taco, my favorite. I did eat soups-Campbell soups which i love to eat, which i had to eat, when i am hungry. Pappy have keep me busy taking him out for tinies walks.
i got to catch up with my book readings whew.
i am planning my future land travels i have already make list of land travels that i would like to visit and touch. I put my future travels in my note book.

Catch up News

i had good time last Saturday i went with my 2 friends to a festival and it was very nice and i brought some tote bag with prints on it i like it and i will use it more soon but not sure when i will use Maybe i will use it for my cross stitch projects and my shopping bag for my new cross stitch projects. I love cross stitch
i am glad that i got things from JoAnn i had to get more flosses. Plus i am also happy that i already went to Target to get stuffs
but will get more later as i am not worry about it now until i am kind of low on and then i will worry about to get it.
Will get more stuff-foods for this weekend that i need to get so i can eat dinners and even lunches.
I planning to do more stuff to keep me busy this weekend like much relax weekend that i love to have A free weekend without anyone around just me and my dog.
i got the photos from Camp Sandusky, where i went with my friends, it was good photos. Next time when i go camping with them again i will take my digital camera period.

depressing weekend

last weekend was depressing weekend because the rain from the remnants of Hurricane Ike. Rain all weekend only little breaks then heavy rain between little rain and dark cloud and heavy rain more often, very wet and i get wet getting my dog out in rain and it got colder with the temptures going down more as it rain more sighs. But it was neat to watch the rain and make my mind blank out staring at the rain dropping with drops of water. The cloud was so dark and heavy that i barely see sun that make me feel tired and depressed. I slept more often during the day during the weekend. Rain make me tire easily.
i hate depressing weekend. Even more  is raining yuck. Rain make me feel depress and tired all the time, feeling sleepy all the time. I always sleep more during the day when it is raining.
Lucky i didn't get flood basement but little creek near my house got high but not flowed over whew. but 2 little pond near one of my neighbor house did got bigger to ONE huge pond. it got up to almost 7" that was pretty high and much.
now i am glad it is over but never know when it will happen again, it will soon but when?
This summer we only got little rain but LOT of sun which i love summer '08 was the best summer i got beause of sunny everyday made me more cheerful.
Guess this fall and winter i will get my SAD back again just like last winter sighs. So anyway but i can find something to do anyway.

Wanted to visit Haunted Places

There is few maybe lot of Haunted places that I would love to visit that I never visited before and also same places that I have visited before and would love to visit there again. I can keep my visit recorded and etc... maybe sometimes my visit that I will be alone not all of the visits. Maybe my friend would love to come along that will be fine, I can't wait to get start on that it will not be long vacation it can be just 3 days thing like weekend thing anyway.

I always wanted to visit the Haunted Places-Public Places like parks, museums and etc...Even Haunted Cities also, there are few on the list that I would love to go for maybe 5 days thing, or a week anyway I can use long vacation to do that.

while I am in places I can get more Haunted books to add in the collections. I love to collect Ghosts and Haunted places books

Ghost stories based on the histories books as well.

feeling lonely

I am feeling depressed because i am feeling lonely,
i guess my friends are not talking to me. i guess they are not talking to me oh well as i know i never talk to them i am trying to talk to them it seems like that they are ignoring me. Oh well i guess i would just leave them alone anyway, maybe just let them come to me as i know they wouldn't not come to me anyway.
i don't know what to do i feel like i am losing friends when i don't do anything wrong or anything. Sighs sound like i am losing friends, as they seems don't care about me. I do care about them. i am REALLY scared. I wish they would just let me know that they are doing alright and what they are up to and etc... without me having fear of losing friends with a silence treatments. I hate silence treatments.

Summer have gone

i guess that summer is gone until next year i will miss summer but i will see it until next year so right now i better enjoy the cool weather and watching the changing the colors of the leaves on the trees until it is gone and the trees are naked during winter time. i like fall but summer is always been my favorite season.
Fall have came early as i guess as the leaves change the color in the late september and early october.

i like to watch raining falling as i can see the drops falling as i would wipe my memory out as watching the raining falling.

A Life to Do

I rather have different man in real life to meet rather not to have my ex that i never met in my life i don’t need him anymore, That i don’t like my ex now. So i can be able to get to know this new person easier and understand about my feelings and my family’s feelings and etc. and understand what i have been through i have been through so much with my family in my way and control my life but i am glad i am in therapy and try to get my life back the way it was before.
My therapist made sure i am doing thing i need to be to be independ and i am doing it it feel good to do those things like i got my dog, opened new check account and getting myself to drive again. After get my license i will start looking for Apartments.
Looking for job to support myself is very important.
My family are starting to back off a little to let me leading my life. I am glad that my family are backing off and they are letting me to drive. I can't wait to start to drive.
i can't wait to get my life of my own

New season of Ghost Hunters

New season of ghost hunters start last night it was really good episode. 

I love Ghost Hunters all they did was investigating of ghosts and etc... I have been watch Ghost Hunters from 1st season when they started as i have been watching them. Even i catch up with them as watch rerun some of the show that I did not watched.

I would love to be Ghost Hunter myself so I need to contact my local ghost society to see if they would like me to be part of Ghost hunting society or be member of the society. I will found out sooner as I would.

things happens on this date

today is my dad's birthday, well happy birthday to Dad.

It is the 14th anniversary of tragic car accident that claimed my 2 teenager cousins who were twins and were 16 years old that time of the car accident i never recovered from the tragic event. I miss them so much, i can't image to lose them like that by the time of the accident but it did. i was very sad when i lost them. i was very close to them and i really love them very much. They were wonderful people and so sweet.

i hope today will go well as it goes by.

September have come

Sept have come and i had fun boating in Lake Winona in Warsaw Ind it was really great Lake.
i have lot things to do this month it look like mom is kind of serious of going to Northern Minnesota but i am not sure she always change minds but i will wait and see. if we are not going and that way i can be able to save money for my trip to Cleveland in October.
Pappy is doing great he is good dog can be little wild and hyper but it is good hyper way it is the way of wanna to play and needed some exercise heh.